Daily Quotes

“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson

“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” – Benny Hill

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

“At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”

“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” – Andy Borowitz

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” – Ambrose Bierce

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

"Where there is no vision, there is no hope." -- George Washington Carver