Daily Quotes

"We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea." -- Cheers WH Auden

“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots.” -- Frank A. Clark

"If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead." -- Johnny Carson

"Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap." -- Steve Martin

"Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is." -- Jimmy Durante

"Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them for thirty years." -- Betsy Salkind

"The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone." -- George Roberts

"If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport." -- Jonathan Winters

"I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it." -- Robert Benchley

"As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder." -- John Glenn