Safety Guy

When does a person decide to become a safety guy?
Safety guys
Q: When does a person decide to become a safety guy?
A: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to be an undertaker.
Q: What do safety guys use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell an extroverted safety guy?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
Q: Why did the safety guys cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive a safety guy completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.

You might be a safety guy if
you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
in college you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue.
at an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
you can type 70 words per minute but can’t read your own handwriting.
you sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they
do the special effects.
you have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
you know what http:// stands for.
you see a good design and still have to change it.
you spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
you think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
your laptop computer costs more than your car.
your wife hasn’t the foggiest idea of what you do at work.