Clear Communication From a Humorous Perspective

Following are actual headlines that have appeared in various newspapers during the past 6 months:

Some humorous headlines here to show the importance of clear communication. Enjoy!

Crack found on Governor’s daughter
(This one don’t surprise me)

Something went wrong in jet crash, expert says

(Obviously)

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

(That’ll teach ‘em)

Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

(Only if you don’t wipe adequately)

Panda mating fails, veterinarian takes over

(Sheer dedication by this man)

Miners refuse to work after death

(Dirty, low-down lazy bunch)

Juvenile court to try shooting defendant

(Seems a little harsh to me)

War dims hope for peace

(Seems like it would extinguish it instead of just dimming it)

If strike isn’t settled quickly, it may last awhile

(Sounds right to me)

Cold wave linked to temperature

(Brilliant weatherman)

Couple slain; police suspect homicide

(Doubtful this one will be solved)

Red tape holds up new bridges

(I ain’t crossing ‘em)

Man struck by lightening faces battery charges

(What else would you charge him with?)

New study on obesity looks for larger test group

(Makes perfect sense to me)

Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft

(Beans will be banned from future missions)

Kids make nutritious snacks

(And they’re tasty too)

Local high school dropouts cut in half

(Bet they won’t quit again)

Hospital is sued by 7 foot doctors

(These folks should be playing basketball instead of suing)